Best Vibrator: This Is the Queen of All Vibrators

We’re more sex positive than ever. But we haven’t erased some fundamental truths: Women’s bodies are still policed, sex education is still lacking, and talking about sex still carries a stigma. It’s created a whisper network around sex and made the very mention of the words female pleasure enough to make you blush. So this week we’re discussing good sex and why it matters. Our mantra? Owning your sexual pleasure is power.


Hello from your friendly Amazon sex-toy review lady! You know, the woman with the “straight-out goat legs, don’t go into the pink light, not sure if she ever picked up her kids from school” review of the best vibrator she’d ever tried? Yeah, that’s me.

I never in a million years expected that to go viral. I just wanted to leave an honest, open, and silly review for a product that left quite an impression on me. (For the record, I did pick my kids up, I know many were worried. I don’t remember exactly how I got to the school, but I limped my busted ass there and back. )

I’m not on Twitter much—I just turned 40, I pretty much live on Facebook with all the other middle-aged moms—so it took a much cooler friend of mine to discover that my review had blown up on the internet. Not only that, but Glamour wanted to contact me. Me! Just your average sex-toy-loving suburban mom. So here I am, ready to review sex toys from a busy mom’s point of view.

For my debut, Glamour asked me to write about the single best vibrator I have ever encountered. Now, I’m a gal with an arsenal of vibrators—different ones for different moods. Sometimes I don’t want to forget my own name; sometimes you just need to take the edge off, ya know? Still, there was no doubt in my mind that the Tracy’s Dog Clitoral Sucking Vibrator, the one from my Amazon review posted this April, has withstood the test of time.

Tracy’s Dog Clitoral Sucking Vibrator

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I want to start off by saying that, no, Tracy’s Dog has not contacted nor compensated me in any way. That’s no matter, because when it comes to me and my orgasm, no amount of money or swag could sway me anyway. I’m that friend who is brutally honest, good and bad—if I think something is great, or it it sucks, I’m going to give you my honest thoughts on it. I’m the first to jump up and tell you that you are amazing, but also the first to tell you that your favorite dress looks awful (if it does), because I love you. (But hey, if someone wanted to give me a lifetime supply of vibrators I wouldn’t be mad….)