There are many things that have the power to change our lives and heartbreak is definitely one of them. When we’re head over heels in love with and fully committed to someone, but get our heart broken into thousands of tiny pieces in return, every part of us changes.
We start to feel, think, and act differently. Everything begins to have a new meaning. We start to develop a different perspective of love and the world around us. We become more cautious and build walls around us to protect ourselves from being hurt again. We begin doing things unintentionally without being aware of the reason for it. And the reason is nothing else but the sadness, disappointment, and pain the guys we dated put us through.
When we’ve been hurt and broken too many times, we …
1. We doubt everybody and everything.
Our trust has been betrayed time and time again. Therefore, it’s very difficult for us to start believing someone again. It’s hard for us to believe in the intentions of the guy who shows he’s interested in us. We tend to think he’s not serious about us and that he’s just playing with our feelings.
We tend to think he’s not really into us, but he just wants to have some fun, and after he’s done, he’ll throw us away like a worn-out puppet. Unfortunately, oftentimes, we doubt guys who might be truly interested in us and who could potentially be great partners.
2. We focus on the bad traits of our potential partner.
Our heart got broken too many times because love made us blind. Love prevented us from seeing the true colors and cruel intentions of the guys who first stole and then broke our hearts. Therefore, we tend to thoroughly analyze every guy whom we like or who is interested in us. But, in fact, we do a lot more than just analyzing his qualities.
We look for his bad traits. We focus on his weaknesses and insecurities. And we know that no one is perfect, but we got broken too many times and there’s no way we’ll let that happen again.
3. We accept sadness.
We were put through pain so many times that we’ve started to perceive sadness as an inseparable part of our lives. All the worries, disappointment, and despair we experienced made us believe that happiness is not for us. They made us believe that love is always hard and painful.
So, instead of fighting sorrow, we figured it would be much easier for us if we just embraced it.
4. We laugh at romance.
Romantic movies, dates, and surprises have become something we can just laugh at. We no longer believe in “They lived happily ever after,” or “Love makes you feel butterflies in the stomach,” or “When you love someone, you feel warm on the inside.” These things sound stupid and absurd to us.
Yet, no one can judge us for feeling this way. After all, all that we experienced was not butterflies, warmth, happiness, or peace, but coldness, sorrow, and worries.
5. We keep our secrets to ourselves.
We trusted the wrong guys. We put our faith in guys who didn’t know what trust actually meant. Guys who didn’t value honesty. Guys who were great actors and made us think we can have absolute trust in them. But, we’ll no longer fall for those tricks.
We don’t let others reach the deepest parts of our soul. We don’t share our dreams and desires with anyone. We keep our secrets to ourselves so as no one can’t use them against us.
6. We abandon others so as to prevent any more pain.
We were played and abandoned by guys so many times before, and this made us cold-hearted and cruel. In order not to get ignored and abandoned again, we ignore and abandon men first. We treat men the same way they treated us.
7. We became the flirtatious kind.
After having our heart broken so many times, we figured it’s best not to take anything seriously. No more serious, long-term relationships. No more deep, intense feelings. No more effort. Just causal, superficial flirt.
8. We secretly hope that things will get better.
Although our hopes were shattered and our hearts were turned into stone many times, we still secretly hope that there might be someone out who is waiting for us.
Since, after all, we’re humans who need attention and unconditional love. We just need time to heal our wounds and recuperate.
Riley Cooper is a professional writer who writes informative and creative articles on topics related to various fields of study. Written with love and enthusiasm, her articles inspire readers to broaden their knowledge of the world, think and get ready to act.